** preorder - books will be shipped in Jan 2026 **

Richard Herring lost a testicle in 2021 and hasn’t fucking shut up about it since. He’s milked his cancerous plum until it’s spaffing up dust, making himself literally millions of pounds in the process.

But isn’t it time to hear the story from a different perspective?

From someone who really knows what was going on, because it was happening to them?

Finally we can. This is the explosive autobiography of the gonad that got away, Right Bollock. From his humble beginnings, living in a scrotum, through the discovery that he was a twin, to being pummelled by a Barbadian wave and kicked by a Liverpudlian University lecturer. Then finally the plan to escape and the daring and dangerous execution, to properly divorce himself from the man who neglected him and took him for granted.

This is almost certainly the greatest book in the English language, written by a human testis (if you discount the work of Martin Amis).